From the Campaign Trail: "I'm 'The Guy With A Truck'"
Editors |
Thursday, September 2, 2010 at 7:06AM By: The Guy With A Truck
Greetings Lasting Liberty readers and fans of the WNBA's New York Liberty who got sent here by Google unintentionally! I am currently in the ditches of a political campaign, and I've been ask to write something for your reading pleasure from the campaign trail every week. It's a little difficult to balance stories from the trail while keeping privacy concerns intact, but no more difficult than, say, being a campaign staffer for a statewide candidate. This first installment will serve as something of an introduction. So in the words of Austin Powers, allow myself to introduce... myself.
I'm a campaign staffer for a prominent Republican candidate currently running for an executive office in a Southern state. I have a moderate level of experience in the political field, but mostly in media and not as a staffer. I'm learning the differences by the day. Media consultants take polling information and craft messages that are made into TV and radio commercials, with social media, telephone calls and mailing pieces as a subsidiary component. Staffers get paid squat to be indentured servants to “general consultants” (a fancy name for people who were staffers 5 years ago and now get paid double to make perfunctory appearances at meetings and create documents that use smart-sounding words to spend money).
We have a media consultant, two general consultants, a pollster, a fundraising coordinator, some mercenary graphic and design people, and then our actual campaign staff, of which I am one of three: a campaign manager, a political director, and then me. I'm officially a “body man”, shorthand for an aide to the candidate. Typical duties encompass a variety of tasks: driving to various campaign stops; keeping the candidate on-schedule and on-task; taking down notes and interfacing with the campaign HQ and other staffers and consultants; and having an unerring ability to locate [redacted] restaurants in order to find the candidate's road snack of choice-- the chocolate shake.
But I'm not a typical body man. Our campaign is understaffed, so I double as a yard sign mule; deputy campaign manager; placator of a finicky media consultant; placator of a panicky assistant to the candidate; legend and inspiration to high-school and college-age interns; enforcer; proofreader; social media, um, “coordinator”; and, most important, TGWAT. The TGWAT role is a universal life precept. Everyone likes The Guy With A Truck.
Oh yeah, and I sometimes moonlight as a professionally trained, degree-holding political media practitioner.
I am an old man in this game. Mid-20s is old, and I feel my age. By now, most people have graduated to become general consultants (the guys I mentioned earlier), or taken real jobs with wives and stuff. Why? The fewest hours I worked last week was 13. I treated myself on my evening off to a load of laundry, Chick-fil-A, and a nap. Most days lately have gone 16 or even 18 hours. There is no distinction between weekday and weekend. It just means that the type of work sometimes changes. For instance: this Friday will be spent shooting film for a commercial. Saturday will be walking around a parade/festival. Tuesday and Wednesday will be spent driving around the western part of the state for a series of appointments, visits, fundraisers, meetings, speeches, and the like.
The best part about being on the road is that you can spend your mornings in Mayberry and your evenings in the big, bad cities. At one event earlier in the year, the hosts served only Sweet Tea* and lemonade, cheese cubes with American-flag toothpicks stuck in them, BBQ, and cupcakes. After a long drive to a different city, the next event served... an open bar. And a tray of finger sandwiches nobody bothered to touch.
Day-to-day political life is characterized by old people who have nothing better to do signing up to receive a yard sign and then complaining that they have not yet received a yard sign, tech-unsavvy old people equating sparsely-read blogs and anonymous facebook posts by loose-screwed wingnuts as popular and widespread revulsion against our candidate, meeting old people who used to be somebody important but do not realize they are no longer important, old people giving money and pledging support for the candidate, old people telling me what to do before changing their minds and telling me something else, trying to beg young people to get involved in this game, and the persistent, tingling fear that comes from being a front-runner and knowing everyone else has a target on your back.
There are not many cities in this state I haven't seen, and I'll see most of them again over the next couple months. A few I will see in precious few hours, so it's time to cut this short so I can go to sleep.
*This is capitalized because it is a proper noun.
Ed. Note: The Guy With A Truck is a pseudonym for an actual campaign staffer working for a prominent Southern Republican running for a statewide executive office. His blog posts from the campaign trail will appear weekly through the campaign season.
